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"Pseudo
modern man has been dragged from the waiting room (his cigar left
abandoned) into the 'room' to witness childbirth first hand...one
must ask was he really ready for it and did he really want to go?
Childbirth is a fantastic marvel, and no one can deny that but the
question we ask is why did women of the past prefer to have men
wait outside and why are women of the past 10-20 years so insistent
on having their men standing beside them?" ~ Jack
Jeddaman
How
true! So you're a Dad or just about to become one? Hang on as
this will be the ride of your life now. Things change and
priorities become different with good financial planning now
essential. Think of it as an 18-20 year plan now! If you go through
the whole childbirth thing you will see it will be the highlight of
your life regardless of what you seen or have done before or after.
Seeing your child's head for the first time is life changing. Did
your wife or is your wife going to have an epidural?
or an understanding
of what it does. Make sure you read both of those
highlights regardless of what decision you and your partner make.
We can also understand men who don't want to go through the whole
thing. The Mesopotamian Plainsman's quote above is very
relative.
A woman has
three trimesters or 9 months of pregnancy to prepare
physically and emotionally for the birth of the child. Most
men are only becoming slightly familiar after 3 months (1st
trimester). Emotions with a lot of women run rampant within the
first three months. Prepare yourself for a side of your partner you
might not be expecting. Hormones change and food cravings kick in
for women.
Emotional
women needing rest and foot massages are high on the agenda now
especially over the final 3 months of their pregnancy.
They are nesting and are thinking they choose you so kick in and be
the person that makes this work i.e. your relationship changes, it
takes on a new level of consciousness - closeness or
withdrawal.
I think
after experiencing the whole affair it's good to blend in with
other parents in the same situation. Share your experiences and
views with other parents and light relief will be the welcome
outcome . Yes you are normal and that's what is the feeling
after these social events shared with other parents. Remember what
you attract is where you are at at that time.
Financial
planning advice is a big key word here. Get it but make sure it's
good advice! Look around. Education, clothing and living expenses
multiply. Multiply that with more kids and you have to be very
carefully with planning ahead. Families today in 2006 having more
than one child on a salary of $50K pa or less are going to put a
lot of financial pressure on themselves and their family. Money
will dictate what you can and cannot do now with your family over
the next 15 years minimum. You owe it to your children to get that
right as a responsible parent. Do the best you can at that time,
that's all an anyone can ask. Then sleep well.
Sleep is
something you may discover you don't have enough of if your child
has sleep issues .I experienced this first hand and can recommend
you LOOK
AT THIS as some child's sleep issues can easily be sorted
with strict discipline which surprised me at the time but in
reflection made complete sense. One has to be firm to be kind
sometimes...
Get
yourself a very good stroller there are some fantastic ones on the
market now. I imported a 3 wheeler jogging type from the USA 12
years ago as there were none around in Australia, now they are
everywhere. Early morning strolls with my daughter at 6am along the
beach front become a highlight of the day.
A lot of
women suffer from post
natal depression,...or is it that some women just don't deal
with the first two years at all well. I know plenty of men that
would agree. In the same breath I have seen plenty of women who
cope like they were born to breed. They can't get enough of it.
Post natal depression is a nightmare to have to deal with and heavy
drinking may help temporarily but won't solve a thing. Read up on
this if you can.
Some
women's bodies bounce back after child birth like a rubber band and
some do not. You will be called upon for lots of encouragement if
your partners does not...
2nd, 3rd,
and 4th plus children all fall into the don't panic mode, you
have done it all before and you can do it again, probably better!
Carry on....make sure you are earning enough money do it though.
That's fundamental and critical.
'childbirth
honeymoon'.(period of time whilst mother and child are still in the
hospital) and then you all go home together and it
all really hits you. The total reality that you are now a dad
and there are no more nurses around anymore
or room service. Just you, your wife and child
at home in the family house (unless you can afford a
nanny). Welcome to total parenthood, your life will never be
the same again, but don't panic it's all good...". ~ Jack
Jeddaman
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